This past week was pretty hard for me in Rome. At that time last year, was the week where my Grandpa Kasprzak passed away. He went through about a four day stratch spanning from November 9 - 12 where he was slipping in and out of conciousness and it became apparent to all of us that his health was failing. I remember those four days distincly in my mind from last year. I had just started teaching my first graders at Jefferson Elementary in Green Bay. It was a very tough week last year, and didn't get much easier this year.
I was having a tough time not having anyone to talk to over here. Sure, I could Skype my family in a minute, but talking to someone on the computer isn't the same as face to face interation. I found it hard to have no one to cry with, remember with, or even anyone who understood how I felt. Most of the family was gathering in Milwaukee this weekend from Friday-Sunday to remember Grandpa. I was sad that I was missing the gathering and another chance to be with family. I felt very alone in a huge city where I've made tons of friends. Luckily, I did a few things to help me pull through. I wrote a letter to all of my cousins expressing my sadness and feelings on not being able to join them to remember our Grandpa this past weekend. My cousin Mark agreed to read it for me, and I hope they all enjoyed it and knew that it came from my heart. Also this past week, my roommate Cuyler made it clear to me that he was here for me. He could tell I wasn't being myself and was concerned. We talked a lot last week about Grandpa and Cuyler just listened. Last Wednesday night, he even sat down with me and watched the DVD Krause had made for my family for my Grandpa's visitation last year. It brought a lot of tears to my eyes, but also made me smile too. It was neat to be able to share that with Cuyler and talk about the family. He kept trying to pick out my Dad in the pictures and see if he could fin me in any. He was amazed at how much Grandpa had built throughout his life and told me he could tell he was special to our family. After the DVD ended, before I could tahnk Cuyler for watching it with me, he thanked me for asking him to watch it with me. I definitely knew things were going to be okay because I realized that I did have someone here to help me.
Before I left for Paris Friday November 12th, the one year anniversary of Grandpa's death, Cuyler told me, "Don't even hesitate to call me this weekend. If you need to talk to me, call me. I'm here for you". Friday was rough when I went to Paris knowing that the family was gathering in Milwaukee from Friday-Sunday without me. I texted Cuyler a few times, but other than that, I pulled through. I lit a candle for my Grandpa in Norte Dame Cathedral in Paris and tried to enjyo myself. When I cam back Sunday, I watched Grandpa's DVD again and said the Sacred Heart prayer from the holy card at his fuenral. It was a nice way to remember Grandpa, and I can't wait to get home and remember him more with my family during the Christmas season!
This past weekend, I was remembering and honoring a great life – a year ago Grandpa Kasprzak passed away – a man of true faith, kindness, generosity, and love. Can’t believe it’s been a year without you, Grandpa. You are forever my angel. I miss you everyday and love you so much – RIP Grandpa Kasprzak 1914-2009
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